Then check out their advice on a variety of social quandariesincluding how to deal with family vacationsbelow.
Want their advice on a sticky social situation?
JENNA BUSH HAGER:I think you gotta move on for a bit.
Photo:Getty Images
If people are in conversation, find somebody else to talk to for a while.
HODA KOTB:I think thats right.
JBH:There are plenty of people around.
Look for somebody else and catch up with your person later.
HK:Definitely dont interrupt.
you could jump around and go in when theyre done.
Or you might join that conversation, but dont take it over.
My kids are hurt and insulted by this, thinking they arent worthy of receiving something nicer.
I would rather they not get anything than get these kinds of items.
Do I say something?
Hoda gave me an apple once… as a gift.
And she had actually brought it as a snack for herself.
HK:I think what Jennas saying is this: The gift youre given does not determine your worth.
I love Jenna, and I did give her an apple.
HK:I will say, theres a curious thing about giving a broken toy.
JBH:It sounds like its not a gift, its a hand-me-down.
HK:I think you nailed it.
Reframe what youre receiving.
Its not a gift.
And take a hand-me-down for what its worth.
you might donate it if the kids dont want it.
Not Taking the Whole Family on a Vacation
JULIE ASKS:We have four adult children.
The two oldest are married, and the two youngest are college students and not married.
We recentlyplanned a tripto Hawaii with our two youngest kids.
Our daughter-in-law was mad that they didnt all get invited.
We just wanted to spend a little time with our youngest ones.
Should I feel bad?
Should we always invite all the kids on vacations?
This is a special trip for the two youngest kids who are in college.
JBH:Think about how you want to be as a mom of grown kids.
Do you want to take all your kids on every vacation you ever go on?
HK:I think you have to just say it.
Or you do another trip with just the older kids.
Theres nothing wrong with that.
Knowing When to Correct Strangers
MELANIE ASKS:I am an older mom.
Ive corrected people before, and theyve often been embarrassed and apologetic, and the whole moment was awkward.
HK:I think you correct them.
Because Ive learned that your daughter wont be reacting to what the person saidshell be reacting to howyourereacting.
JBH:I think conversations like this arent about how the other person feels.
Youre proud to be her mother, and you want your daughter to feel that.
You want her to feel how happy you are that you chose this.
You take a stab at lay it all out.
JBH:And thats whats beautiful about being human.
Have an Etiquette Question?
Email Jenna and Hoda at modernmanners@realsimple.com.
