Then check out their advice on a variety of social quandariesincluding how to deal with tricky family financial situationsbelow.
Want their advice on a sticky social situation?
Sorry, but your convo doesnt need to be on speakerphone!
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Im doing some work.
Is there any way you could put that through your headphones?
JBH:Or if you really hate it, relocate if you’re able to.
HK:I mean, you cant control the world.
Sometimes theres gonna be construction or someone yelling or whatever.
We feel you, though.
How to Gracefully Express Hurt Feelings
KATHERINE ASKS:Im part of abook clubwith six other women.
One woman in particular laughs at me when I do this.
But it truly does hurt my feelings and seems rude of her to laugh.
What can I do?
HK:I would have a conversation with just her, not in front of the group.
She might not realize shes upsetting you.
HK:Once you tell someone its your sensitive spot, that helps.
We all have one.
JBH:Hoda, I love your idea of doing it alone and not in front of the group.
HK:Its a courageous conversation.
I wouldnt make a big to-do out of itjust a quick chat.
Im guessing shell stop right away!
We pay for an occasional dinner, but they cover most expenses.
Is this OK, or should we skip because we cant pay our share?
HK:They probably have an idea of what youre making, and they want to make it easier.
I would just enjoy it if I were you.
Pay for the meal when you’re free to, or cook the meal if possible.
HK:Trust your instincts.
Listen to yourself if it feels like too much, and maybe bow out of an extra excursion.
But again, it sounds like they just really enjoy spending this time with you!
How cool is that?
So many men dont take their hats off anymore.
Whats the modern etiquette for headgear?
JBH:I feel this.
My grandpa Harold wore a hat every day, and he always took it off at meals.
My grandmother was big on no hats at the table.
I think you might make it a rule at your house.
If you dont want them to have their hats on at the table in your home, say that.
Make that clear, and Im sure theyll follow the rules.
Your husband can make a rule if he doesnt like it.
Its just the tone that matters.
He can say it nicely.
Youre more than welcome to put it back on as soon as youre done eating.
JBH:I think the etiquette is whatever you want it to be.
At your dinner table, you get to make the rules!
Have an Etiquette Question?
Email Jenna and Hoda at modernmanners@realsimple.com.
